It hasn’t been quite a month since I’ve been home but my life is quite different from a month ago. Last month today I was enjoying a lunch cruise on the Thames and then taking in a show in the Garrick theatre. Now, I’m house-sitting for a family from our church, working infrequently, discovering I love baking cupcakes and making smoothies/milkshakes, leading song/dance at VBS, finding out I have a cavity (my first one), filling out applications, trying to get registered for school, looking into what the first step needs to be for the Street Pastors and I’m about to go on vacation. Needless to say, I think I need the vacation. With everything going on I’m feeling a little in over my head right now.
I’ve decided to do my own “365 project”, I’m going to post one picture every day in an album on Facebook. Why start now, you may ask? The reason? There is no reason. That’s why. It’s a perfectly ordinary (maybe even a little boring) day. There’s nothing significant about it, no deep meaning. I’m just curious to see where I am in a year, plus I’ve been lax about taking photos lately so this should get me in the habit of carrying my camera around again. Perhaps I should have done this last year, there are some insignificant days that ended up being a lot of fun that I might forget because it wasn’t necessarily memorable, just goofing off. I’m just praying God make this year an adventure, maybe even a bigger one than last year!
Now, we’re finally getting to the real reason I sat down to write this post. I started re-reading Choosing to See by Mary Beth Chapman last night and felt compelled to share a few things. First off, if you haven’t read this book yet GO FIND IT AND READ IT RIGHT NOW. Thank you. Next, I love Mary Beth’s writing style, she is so honest when she writes. She explains her struggles in a completely relatable way. The book is basically an autobiography, with the about half of it detailing her life after losing their little girl Maria. When I was reading the book the other night I came to the part where she is talking about life immediately after the accident. The chapter is titled “Not As It Should Be” and starts with a quote by C.S. Lewis, “We’re not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us, we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.”
We know, according to Romans 8:28, that says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” All of us have experienced difficult and painful situations in our lives and it’s sometimes difficult to remember that God has promised this is working for good. This was explained to me at one point as the “good” referred to in Romans 8:28 being our transformation into people more like Jesus. This is definitely painful at times and almost always (in fact always in my experience) humbling. The experiences I have had where I could actually say for sure that God spoke to me have just revealed to me how little I really know and how blind I am in my limited understanding of the world. In Choosing the See the words to a song written by Mary Beth and Steven Curtis Chapman is in a box on the side of the page talking about this same issue. The song is called “Our God Is In Control”
This is not how it should be
This is not how it could be
But this is how it is
And our God is in control
This is not how it will be
When we finally will SEE
We’ll SEE with our own eyes
He was always in control
This is not where we planned to be
When we started this journey
But this is where we are
And our God is in control
Though this first taste is bitter
There will be sweetness forever
When we finally taste and SEE
That our God is in control.
I am in constant need of being reminded of the fact that God is in control. I may not be able to see it right now. In fact things might look kind of ugly from my point of view, but later when I take a step back I might be able to see that the bright splotches on the canvas of my life are actually carefully placed to form a beautiful picture.
Right now, I’m too close to see the big picture and the details aren’t always pretty but I thank God that one day I will be able to SEE what He has done in my life.
Thanks for reading my super-random and probably confusing thoughts of the day!
“None of this was ever supposed to happen to you.”
“Supposed to happen? What does that mean? It happened… And I would not have it any other way.”